I don’t remember the first time I said yes when I should have said no,
but there are some standout incidents…
.: the a-miss speech :.
I asked my mum and her friend to help me write a speech for my Year 7 House Captain election.
It was a great speech… if my TEACHERS were voting me in.
But turns out twelve-year-olds were more impressed by the “Vote For Me & Get Free Lollies” campaign that another girl did, than my carefully currated list of accolades. But you know the real kicker?
The moment when I was called up, right before my speech, handwritten palm cards in hand – I had a feeling the speech would land flat.
.: Senior School Subject Choice :.
Or that time where it came to choosing your senior year subjects – and I was smitten by Ancient History. Behind Drama, there was nothing I wanted to study more. Except for all the people I looked up to for advice, assured me I was better off going for Modern History, as it had a higher rating on my final exit score.
While I may have gotten the second highest A+ rating you could possibly attain in the subject, I retained nothing. It was all regurgitated, crammed in to pass exams. To this day, I can’t confidently quote World War years.
These experiences have a commonality:
I went against me.
Against my instinct.
Over the years, the moments where I have been happiest are the moments where I did things (mostly) on my terms.
I said yes to things that honoured me + no to things that felt off.
We’re taught to seek certainty, to do the right thing, the best thing, the thing that is socially accepted or will get us ahead. We’re instructed to seek out advice when we are unsure. To Google, to survey our friends, to quiz others for guidance.
But what if, instead of asking questions externally –
we sought out answers internally.
What are your thoughts on this?
BECOMES: What feels good for me in this moment?
Do you think this is the right decision?
BECOMES: If I choose this, what could my life be like in five years time?
Make choices that go WITH you –
not against you.
If it feels like it’s honouring you – follow that.
At its very core, your feeling of freedom, of feeling confident in your decisions and being able to stand by them, of being relaxed knowing you did what’s best for you comes down to in that moment, did you instinctively do what felt best & most expansive for you?
Our job isn’t to get things right.
It’s to do things out of respect for ourselves.
This is not to say don’t ask for guidance. It’s to say, PAUSE right before the Deciding Moment – and to check in: “Is this honouring me?”
Because in that moment when you have the final say, you are consciously creating your life.
And moments chosen for you, become days chosen for you. And days chosen for you roll into weeks, which roll into the months and years…
And those years…
They become the badass life which you live, honouring you.